Wordless Wednesday!

Our First Dance Pictures!

This is tap


This is Jazz

Is there any hope for me- a mother of a 4 year old DIVA?

I just decided

Tonight, when I walked into the living room to find one of our goats, Flower, in the front room- I decided at that moment that we live a crazy busy life.

We have had b4 baseball games and 2 dance recitals this weekend. The Twins did great, and Taya had fun dancing but I am glad it is done for awhile. Now Jen is pulling out the camper to get it packed because we are going on a 10 day trip with my brother and his family- so somehow tomorrow I need to get the camper cleaned and packed, food shop, get an alignment and trailer breaks, drive to Greeley to Sam's club for dog food and get organized for our trip. Sometimes it is nice to just stay home and do nothing.

I did end up getting sick- I spent Friday night in the ER and was sick most of Saturday- but I am feeling better now. I get so frustrated with my disease.

So, off again, off again jigity jig. I will scan Taya's dance pictures and post them because they are so beautiful!

I made it!

We are back from Hawaii- and as always we had an amazing trip- may have been the best one yet. It gets easier as the kids get older. I did not get sick- so I am very thankful for that. I got a little sea sick when we were snorkeling- but the waves were rough- so I just came in early and let everyone else keep playing. I am so happy I did not get sick!

We saw a Monk seal while playing in the ocean- scared me to death- I was just swimming along and then I see whiskers in my face- took a minute to register- trying to call the kids over without making a big fuss because I in no way wanted to piss her off- she was about 900 pounds and had a pup. It was amazing though. I will post some pictures of her and the turtles we swam with.

The weather was perfect, the food amazing- I just feel so relaxed and had a great time. Taya went about 3/4 mile from shore in pretty rough waters and did great- better then I remember the boys doing at 4.

All the boys have girlfriends this year- so they were missing them- gag me-it took them forever to find just the right gift for them. Texting and whining- I know this is only going to get worse.

The house was still in one piece when we got back- and I really appreciate that- sometimes we get back and have some many issues at home to deal with that I wonder if vacation was worth it.

I am ready to go back- I am an island girl at heart!



Trey playing in the water


Bryce burried Tay

Dylan trying to climb as high as Bryce did

Annual bird picture

My boys are getting so big!

Leaving on a jet plane

Well, we are off tomorrow for our annual trip to Hawaii. I think we are packed- I am certain we are forgetting something. We have to leave at 4 a.m. so that makes me happy.

The boys are all sad and bummed because they are going to miss their girlfriends. Toby was actually in tears. This is new for us. When did they stop being my boys and start belonging to hussies?

I am TERRIFIED that I will get sick. Last year I flew in and went straight to the ER- please dear God- keep me safe and sound- I want to stay healthy for the trip- I am so scared of this. I can't talk about it because then I feel like I jinx it or make everyone else think of it- but they probably are anyway. Just please, please, please don't let me get sick.

I am really looking forward to spending time with the family and Jen- I am stressed about the animals- no one takes care of them like I do- we have puppies and all and it stresses me out. Never a day off.

OK, deep breath- it will be fine. right?

Dance Pictures

Thanks for all the supportive words- I think I will bypass wine and just go straight to medical pot to help deal with parenting. Just kidding.


I am hanging in there with Bryce- he knows I am mad because he has been super helpful around the house and yard- so it makes it that much harder.

On a happy note- here is Taya in her dance outfits.

We leave for Hawaii on Tuesday- I have a million things to do before then.

So disappointed

Well Bryce is giving me a run for my money- Overall I have to admit he is a pretty good kid. Respectful, we are close- he tells me most things- and I still enjoy him. I know teenage years are supposed to be heard- but I am so not ready.


He has always gotten bad grades- he does have a bit of a learning problem- but I am not kidding myself- he never applies himself- does homework and will never be a scholar. My rule for his Driver's License is he has to have "C" grades or better- not a "C" average. Mind you- when I was a kid there is no way in H*ll that "C' grades would have gotten my my license- but I cut him some slack. So- Bryce is 16 and still has his permit- his grades just came out and he has 2 F's and a D- so no licence. Bottom line. I am the cruelest Mother though because all his friends can drive. Oh well.


Let's not forget the other night when he could not sleep and he steals the truck- he premeditated this because we have a driveway alarm and he muted it- I did not even know it muted!

He is dating a college girl and I KNOW things are going on that I do not approve of. I can't be with him all the time- but it is just unsettling to know that he is growing up too fast!

I don't get it- I am a SAHM, I am so involved in their lives, have lunch with them at school, on the PTO, am a face everyone knows because I am involved in everything from sports, to class teacher. I don't drink, do drugs, abuse them, I have a great relationship with my spouse- and the problem kids are doing great- win all the awards at school- my son is flunking classes and stealing cars? I don't get it- should I start drinking?

Stop this parent ride I want to get off.

Wordless Wednesday!

Sometimes there are no answers...

This beautiful young mother used to work for Jen and her Dad- she was a young mother to three children- had her own business as a flagger- not an easy job to work in the weather with truck drivers. She had some rough spots- but really seemed like she was doing OK.

She shot herself last night. I feel so sad for her babies- her family and her friends. Goodbye Samantha- Rest in peace and I am so sorry this life was so hard and painful for you. You were just a baby yourself. I remember how much you loved animals and your kids and tried to do better for yourself. We would go to the same Birthday parties with our kids and sit and visit. I wish I would have known you needed help. I am sorry Sam, you were dealt a tough hand of cards.

My twins are 5th graders!

This is the class picture of all the 4Th graders- notice Trey and Dylan in the red shirts right in the middle- lol!

Taya moves to another year of Pre-school
Twins- 5Th grade
Toby- middle school- 7Th grade!
Bryce- Jr.

Wow where has the time gone? They get so expensive as they get older. I love being a Mom- it has been the most rewarding thing I have ever done. I love the relationship I have with my kids and that they will tell me anything- sometimes things I don't want to know. Today was a great example.

When I woke up- Bryce came in my room and shut the door- and told me- "OK don't get mad"- well, hell right there your throat goes in your heart, you start to hyperventilate as you look at him and say "Of course I won't dear, talk to me.

Now Bryce is 16- but we did not get his permit until a few months after because he had bad grades- so when he turned 16 he did not get a licence- he is still on the permit until August.

Well the poor little child was bored last night- and in all his infinite wisdom could not think of anything to do- except steal Jen's truck at 2 a.m. and go visit some friends. Hello- was he dropped on his head as a baby? The tail light was out so he got pulled over- and it went down hill from there. He got a ticket for violating the conditions of his licence- but instead of calling his parents, the cop let him dive home....interesting.

Now I am so thankful no one was hurt including my son- but could not have planned this better- he got busted by a cop! He was terrified to tell me.

We talked and got things worked out- I did not freak out- I know there is so much more to come. I am thankful he is safe and no one else is hurt- I can cherish the little things.

Jen on the other hand is freaking out and telling the world what happened- I do not agree with that. So now we have a rift between us. I think she needs blood pressure medication to keep her calm.

I was a horrible child- ain't nothing these kids could do that I have not tried.

Oh, and just to top the day off- I let some dogs out thinking they would do well- NOPE dog fight- 7 on 1- I was screaming and kicking and I sprained my ankle and broke my big toe! Irritating.

Class of 2018

Vegas was fun!

We had a fun trip- was to short- but it was nice to sleep in, walk around, and just do what we wanted to. No schedule. I wanted to ride the New York New York roller coaster 10 times- but after 4 times on an empty stomach- I had enough.

Jen met some dead stars


I liked watching the girls dance on the bars!

This was a CSI thing- where you solve a case- this is the autopsy- it was so dumb- I do not recommend it.

Want me to tell you what Jen had to do to earn these beads?

Jen was trying to make this look like a mug shot- but I think she failed miserably!

It was fun- now we are home for 3 weeks and then off to Hawaii, home for a few days, and then off on a road trip with my brother. June is going to be a crazy month for us.

Where do you plan to go on vacation this summer?

Oh Vegas, here we come

Jen and I are off to a short trip to Vegas- we will leave tomorrow and be home Monday after school. I am so excited to have time alone with her- no kids- this has never happened!!!!!!

Oh yeah baby- we are outta here!

Stop Complaining

OK, so I decided I have been too serious lately and I need to lighten the mood- I will tell you a funny story about how Taya has Jen so wrapped around her finger.

The other night Taya wanted to take a bath- so Jen filled the tub. She told Taya it was ready- Taya was sitting naked at Jen's desk with her legs crossed and said, "Say pretty please Princess Tay Tay it is time for your bath."

Jen says "Pretty please Princess Taya, go get in the tub." Nope was the response she got from Taya. "You are not listening, I said say Pretty Please Princess Tay Tay it is time for your bath, say that Nay Nay"- (That is what she calls Jen)

I am laughing so hard at this point. This is when I would say- get in the tub or no bath- but not Jen- she asks why she is begging Taya to take a bath when Taya wanted to take one in the first place!

After a few tries, Jen was able to say the correct response and Taya got in the tub. Oh this child kills me!

My first girl

Years ago I took care of some kids for a friend of mine who was in prison. She gave birth to this beautiful baby while in prison- so I took care of her from birth until three- Keanna was her name. She was born addicted to crack and I was so young myself- had no clue what I was doing- but I sure loved that little girl and her brother.

Three years went by and I petitioned the courts to adopt them- long story short- it was Utah, I was white- they were black- I was a Lesbian...need I say more?- My family was no better- not supportive at all of what I was doing- I was so young and so naive.

So the Mom freaked out because I was trying to "steal" her kids- and took them from me and gave them to another friend of hers- who was a horrible person and murdered this sweet baby girl because she peed the bed. She stabbed her with a screwdriver and beat her so hard she died- two months after she left my care.

I sent the judge the rudest letter I could type.

This is all that was in the paper
http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=336&dat=19930712&id=rB0PAAAAIBAJ&sjid=64QDAAAAIBAJ&pg=2976,4802375

http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=336&dat=19930911&id=OE4PAAAAIBAJ&sjid=6YQDAAAAIBAJ&pg=4856,4223392

The murderer never got much time- sometimes life is frustrating.

Keanna's birthday is in May- she would be 20- wow 20 years old. I still think about her at least once a day- she was my first baby girl. Her Mom buried her in an unmarked grave- makes me sick that this woman who never even knew my little Keanna had more rights then I did- just because she gave birth to her. I was the one who cared for her- held her- kissed her owies- rocked her when she had drug with drawls- got up with her in the night- and loved her so much.

RIP my little Kiwi- I will always love you!

I hate Mother's Day

I really miss my Mom everyday but on Mother's Day I am reminded how much of my life she has missed and that she never got to meet 4 of my kids. My Mom was an alcoholic and it makes me mad that she is gone. I wish I could just call her and talk.

Don't get me wrong- I love being a Mom- but for me Mother's Day is about My Mom.

I have Step Mom that has been in my life since I was in Fourth grade and I am appreciative of her- but I still miss my Mom.

I miss the little things like:

Calling her anytime day or night

Her cooking

Talking to her about anything

Her smile

How she loved me despite anything I did

The sound she made when she cleared her throat (weird I know)

Watching her get ready

Her handwriting on letters she wrote me

How excited she was to have a Grand baby

How much she loved cats

Her smell- Chanel #5

Just having a Mom

I love you Mom and I miss you like crazy! RIP

6 new babies

This years ducks- out of 6 I am sure hoping at least 1 will make it. Taya likes to "love" them to death- and last year Jen's dad brought his dog over and he had a snack. Oh well they are sure cute at this stage anyway.


Sylan- he has so many talents


Root Beer just wants to heard them

Trey, Dylan, and Taya playing with the new family members

These are the black ones- we also got 3 yellow ones

Taya drives me crazy about holding the ducks

I love baseball

Double header Thursday and tonight- I am so glad the boys are playing a sport I understand. Not to mention they look cute in their uniforms. Trey is a really good catcher- people from the other team were coming up to him after the game telling him what a great job he did. Dylan is getting better- he hit a triple tonight!



Trey at bat- he did strick out a few times though


Trey as catcher- he does this thing where he hooks his finger in his shoe....

Dylan after a triple- he was so excited.

The swing

Dylan at bat!

Wordless Wednesday!

Placenta

I got your attention didn't I? I love breeding dogs- it let's me stay home, I get to play with puppies all the time- I can pretty much buy a puppy when ever I can afford one because hopefully we will use it in our breeding program. I do enjoy dogs- but there is a downside (well many downsides)- like today- one of our females had me up all night- wanting in and out- panting in my face- but I thought she would still wait another 24 hours or so.

Today, I went to Greeley- another town about 45 minutes away so I could buy my 500 pounds of weekly dog food- ran errands, and we came home to new puppies! I know you are thinking this is really exciting- and it is- until I tell you that she had them right next to my bed- so now we have placenta juice in the carpet- yummy! Think about that squishy sound when you climb into bed.

So tonight we are cleaning the carpets and gagging from the smell in our bedroom- we get to sleep with pups whining and crying all night because they have not yet gotten the hang of nursing- and in 8 weeks after I have fallen in love with them and bonded with them- someone will come and take them away from me and rip my heart out. Did I say I loved my job?

Seriously??????

This is what my life has become? I have scrapbooked 230 pages since Jan 1st. I am trying to get 600 done this year. I really do enjoy it- and I oh so selfeshly enjoy a quiet house- I really look forward to my Wednesday's when Jen is back at work and the brats, (I mean kids) are in school- but how pathetic am I? I mean get a hobby- oh this is my hobby! I know it could be worse- I could be an alcoholic or something- but sometimes I just look at my life and I wonder when I became so dull......

I have no idea why this is loading sideways- it is right on my computer. :)