Being Sick

Warning this may be graphic- but I want to document what being sick has done to my life.

Today I ran into someone who told me I don't look sick. I thought it was really rude- I wanted to say so much- but I just smiled and said thank you- then on the drive home I thought about what my illness has done to my life.

How dare this person- and maybe they were just not thinking but they do not know what I have lived with:

I have throw up in planters at the Mall when I suddenly feel sick shopping for school clothes.

I have thrown up in barf bags on the plane while sitting in the middle seat and had to en dour the embarrassment of the other passengers knowing what was happening and trying so hard to be quiet and keep the smell contained.

I have thrown up in trash cans- too many to count- sometimes at my children's school because it comes on so fast. Trying so hard to not let anyone know because I do not want to embarrass the kids.

I carry barf bags in my car and purse- just in case.

I have been to the Dr. and the ER more than 100 times- sometimes I get Dr.'s and nurses that treat me like a drug addict, when all I want is for the pain and cramping to stop- and the puking to just end.

I have had to ask friends, and loved ones to dump my bile puke bucket because sometimes I just can't get out of bed to do it myself, and I can fill them up so fast- puking every 2-3 minutes for 12-14 hours- even though I eat or drink nothing.

I have had so many nurses "miss" when giving me an IV- just adding more discomfort to an already horrible situation.

I have had to hear the disappointment in my kids voices when they come home and see that Mom is sick "again."

I buy special puke buckets from the Dollar Store- just to have containers to puke in.

I have been to so many Dr.'s and specialists- getting my homes up, trying new drugs and treatments, only to have it not work.

I have had vacations ruined because I got sick and had to go to the Er. I have to know where the nearest ER is when I go places.

I have been alone and had my sickness start up- and laid on the floor of bathrooms, airports, stores, just not caring and wanting to die.

I have had to ask strangers and friends to give me rides to and from the ER- nothing like puking in the car in front of someone.

I have had to drive home from places so sick that I had no business driving, sometimes pulling over for hours- finding a deserted parking lot where no one will call the police on me.

I have lost jobs because I had to call in sick so much. I have lost friends because they do not understand- hell I do not understand.

I have had to cancel Christmas Eve dinners and Thanksgiving dinners because I am not well enough to cook.

I have had to hire people to help me take care of my dogs because I just can't feed and water and clean the kennels.

I have thought about suicide, because no one should have to live like this.

I am terrified 24 hours a day that I will get sick- every pang in my stomach causes me concern- is this an episode?

Yes, when I am well I am well and I can get things done- I try to make up for the times when I am bedridden. I try to be the Mom I want to be all the time- so you might see me and think I don't look sick- but remember you have not walked a step in my shoes.

I am heading to the dark side

I think I am going to hang up the old PC- I have 3% disk space available, I am so sick of it being slow- it frustrates me. I enjoy immediate gratification!

My Dad is talking me into an I-Mac- anyone out there have any advice? I know there will be a learning curve- the last Mac I used was the Apple II-E- stop laughing!

I hate computers, but they are a necessary evil!

Chrsitmas Pictures

Christmas pictures are always fun- with dogs and kids- but this year was worse- finding someone to take them, and getting everyone together all at the same time. I really wanted a family picture since Bryce will be in the Navy in June and who knows when he will be around for a Christmas picture! Jen had 30 mins before work, Bryce had to leave work to meet us, Taya had just finished dance class 10 mins before, Trey had basketball in 30 mins, Toby and Dylan had wrestling- so we had to squeeze it in- then everyone had their moments of being crazy in different pictures- this is what I got....

Dogs are not cooperating

Look at Trey! Toby's eyes are closed.

Trey and Taya are killing me

Taya was striking a pose

Still being a Diva

Toby is in prayer....

Trey- AGAIN!

So did we get any winners you ask? Here they are!

I wish we were closer together- but I will take it- I stole the cardboard idea from the Alessi family- love it! This one will go to special friends and I put it on our website.

This will be the main card that will go to most folks.

Glad this is done!

Viva Las Vegas!

Jen and I were able to get away for a few days, no kids and go to Vegas. It was our belated Birthday gift to each other. It came at a good time because she goes back to working nights this week, and I do not do well with her being gone at night- I admit, I am a big baby!

I love her!

I can't tell you what she had to do to win these beads!

We saw Barry Manilow- I love him. I tell the kids he is their donor! :)

Weird ice people put on a show for Christmas- Jordan Sparks sang too.

Jen being a goof at one of the hotels.

Of course we had to see the fountain show

and Freemont Street

Then we went to this amazing bakery. This cake was $2850

Look at these desserts- we had to try a few....

Jen had this cheesecake and she said it was wonderful

We saw a drag show- this is a guy!

This was the show host- not Jen- they guy in red!

Jen posed with Bette


and in Vegas fashion we saw weird stuff too!

Did I mention that I saw Barry? Oh I love him- I love going to see him!

Happy Thanksgiving!

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
-1 Thessalonians 5:18

I am thankful that I am a part of this great family.

I am thankful that God trusted me to care for them!

I am thankful that my Family loves me back just as much as I love them.

I am thankful for everything being a Mom has taught me, that I otherwise would have never learned.

I am thankful for every single second that I am not sick, and for the Dr.'s who seemed to have found my problem, operated, and gave me my life back- words cannot tell you how many times I think of them and are grateful on a daily basis!

I am thankful for my Spouse- the best Spouse a girl could ask for and the unconditional love she gives me is priceless. Period.

I am thankful for having a successful business that allows me to be home with the kids most of the time.

I am thankful for the special people that God sends to me- the people who have made my life 100% better just by being in it.

I am thankful for my friends- new and old- who have been there for me no matter what.

I am thankful that God sent his son to die on a cross- to save us from our sins, so that we can have eternal life with Him.

I am thankful for the faith that I believe in, for it helps me to better cope in my situation.

I am thankful for a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes to wear, and all of the frivolous things that I don't need, but have been blessed with anyway.

I have never felt more blessed.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Birthday Twins!

I am not sure how it happened- it was just yesterday that I had a ultra sound and they told me there were two of you- but don't tell anyone yet because they may not stick. Now you are 12 and you have been so much fun! I am so lucky to be your Mom and to get to share your lives with you. I love you Trey and Dylan- Happy 12th Birthday!

My Senior

I have put off doing Bryce's Senior yearbook page until of course the night before it was due. I had 600 characters- that is hard. This is what I wrote:

Bryce Jordan Mezney

When we look at you, we hope we see what the world sees. We see the Heart and soul of the man we've taught you to be, combined with the man you've decided to become. The result is a fabulous combination of a heart as big as Texas, a wonderful sense of humor, love, competiveness, sportsmanship, a great work ethic, and to Taya a brother who "hung the moon."

We are so proud of you and wish you all the joy that you have brought into our lives! Good luck in the Navy and in life.The world is at your feet now, the doors of opportunity welcome you. Enter boldly but carefully.

Love, Mom & Jen

Which one of these is not like the other?

We had a funny litter born the other day- poor little dark girl- we thought she was just wet, so we rubbed her raw trying to get her dry. It is a recessive gene throwback- but she is so stinking cute.

I am curious to see if she is picked first or last- there are only 2 girls.

Halloween fun!

Halloween is my favorite holiday. When we lived in the city- I was "That house" that had all the crazy decorations- we would have a Haunted House in our garage and we spend hundreds of dollars every year on decorations.

When we moved to the country- we tried to decorate those first few years- but the wind is stronger here-a lot stronger- and well it just did not work out so well- I still have the decorations- just not quite able to part with them.

The last few Halloweens have been hard- Jen was in PA for training a couple of Halloween's ago- and most of the time she is working and I have to do the parties and Trick or Treating alone with the kids- but this year- all was right with the Universe and she was able to join the festivities. She was able to come to Taya's party for about 20 mins. I dropped of cupcakes and juice for the twins and Toby would not let me within 100 yards of his school- he is at that age ya know!

Taya was Snow White- she is going to marry Snow White one day so she can live in a castle- so is it weird that she is dressing up as her future spouse?

Dylan did not dress up and Trey wore a mask-lol

I hope everyone else had a great Halloween!

Trey showing off the amazing job he did on the hole at the top of the pumpkin- way to go Trey- I see a bright future for you!


Dylan showing his stem- Taya wanted nothing to do with this project- she was cold and done about 5 mins into it.

Dylan with his creation- prob not a future in pumpkin carving for this kid- sharp objects are just better left alone by him.

Jen and I with Taya- you can't tell but I have my freaky contacts in.

Snow White- she is a cutie!

Punkin Patch!

We went to the pumpkin patch a few times this season- once with Taya's class, then Jen wanted to go, and then we though the Twins' were old enough for their first haunted corn maze! Dylan was not ready- he was so scared! So, we decided to wait another year before taking them to the Haunted Houses in Denver. Jen and I love Haunted Houses! We took Bryce and Toby instead and had so much fun with them being scared. I love making lasting memories- they may not be typical family memories- but they will last! :)



Dylan with a few of his buddies before the maze!


Toby does not let me post pictures of him on Facebook anymore- but he did not say anything about my blog! :) I can still get him to do embarrassing stuff- like get in the kiddy train!

Taya and Jen- so cute!

The duck races- I think Trey won every time!

Taya, Trey, and his best friend Garrett- who Taya has a crush on currently!

Homecoming 2011

Bryce and Megan went to Homecoming. The next day he broke up with her- she was in her second year of colledge and he is a Senior in HS and wants to have a fun Senior year. It is bittersweet. The dance must not have been that fun because Bryce was home by 10:30 p.m.

Jen holding a you tube video for Bryce on how to tie a tie!

Bryce putting on Megan's flowers


Megan putting on Bryce's flowers

Before the dance