Tuesday, May 11, 2010

My first girl

Years ago I took care of some kids for a friend of mine who was in prison. She gave birth to this beautiful baby while in prison- so I took care of her from birth until three- Keanna was her name. She was born addicted to crack and I was so young myself- had no clue what I was doing- but I sure loved that little girl and her brother.

Three years went by and I petitioned the courts to adopt them- long story short- it was Utah, I was white- they were black- I was a Lesbian...need I say more?- My family was no better- not supportive at all of what I was doing- I was so young and so naive.

So the Mom freaked out because I was trying to "steal" her kids- and took them from me and gave them to another friend of hers- who was a horrible person and murdered this sweet baby girl because she peed the bed. She stabbed her with a screwdriver and beat her so hard she died- two months after she left my care.

I sent the judge the rudest letter I could type.

This is all that was in the paper


The murderer never got much time- sometimes life is frustrating.

Keanna's birthday is in May- she would be 20- wow 20 years old. I still think about her at least once a day- she was my first baby girl. Her Mom buried her in an unmarked grave- makes me sick that this woman who never even knew my little Keanna had more rights then I did- just because she gave birth to her. I was the one who cared for her- held her- kissed her owies- rocked her when she had drug with drawls- got up with her in the night- and loved her so much.

RIP my little Kiwi- I will always love you!


  1. I am so sorry you had to loose such an precious angel.... I am just heartbroken to read this.... Im thinking of her and you tonight.... Your a wonderful woman and Im proud to know you...

  2. How heartbreaking - at least she knew love from you -

    What a meaningless death- she will be in my prayers

  3. Oh Kate...I cant imagine the pain over this. How incredibly sad that woman like that can have more rights over this baby girls life than the woman who was her real 'mother'. So so sad. As an adoptive Mom (or any type of Mother for that matter)...I couldnt imagine.

    Kiwi, and you, will be in my prayers as her 20th birthday approaches.

    If you dont mind me asking, is this woman still in jail? Did her bio mother get any blame for this? I hope they are still paying the price of this precious girl's lost life. If not physically then I hope mentally and in the after life here on Earth. This just breaks my heart.

  4. This is just so sad, and whats even sadder is the short little story in the paper. The whole thing just put a knot in my stomack. such a precious life that was taken away far to quickly. I can not even imagine how the mother is dealing with this. Hopefully she turned a new path in her life. I am so sorry for your loss. Those scars never go away.

  5. I'm actually SHAKING while typing this. I can't even begin to imagine what you went through.

    Moreso, I can't believe that ANY court wouldn't have gladly given you custody.

    It's disgusting.

    I'm so very sorry for your loss.

  6. What an adorable sweet girl! It makes me sick to think of people who hurt poor, helpless children.

    I can't imagine how you must felt! You are such a wonderful loving person and that was so unfair.

    Life is unfair.

    Heaven has a sweet angel.