Just wanting to wish everyone a Happy Mother's Day. Mother's Day is different for everyone- some that are struggling with infertility- this is a very hard day. I remember during my own infertility journey how I would long to be able to celebrate this day with a baby that I could call my own.
If you have lost a child- this is also a very hard day- a day to think about all of the "what ifs"
Some struggle with their own relationship with their Mother's- so this may not be a day to celebrate- but a day to reflect on how you might do things differently.
Some have lost their Mother- they may or may not have know her- but we all have or had a Mother.
Whatever the day holds for you- my blessing and thoughts are with you.
I would like to share some about my Mother. I had a great Mother. My Mother was the PTO President, the crafty one who was always trying to make people smile. She was a cake decorator, she could sew, she made incredible food. She was smart, and funny, and beautiful. I remember she had the most sexy legs of anyone I had ever seen. She took on projects that most could not do with 10 helpers- she would do herself. She lived to make my brother and I happy. - unfortunately her love for alcohol clouded her judgement and she died of liver failure when I was 25.
I was incredibly sad to lose my Mother- but at 25 I did not fully understand the impact it would have on my life. Sure I knew I was losing my Mom, my friend, that I could call at all hours of the day and night. I lost that financial go to parent that I knew I had in my back pocket if I need car repairs or an emergency came up. I knew I was losing my Mother, an import figure. It was not until many years later that I knew how deep that cut.
Once you have children of your own you understand your own parents a little more. When my kids were/are sick I want to call my Mom and ask her how she would handle it- but she is gone.
When Toby was being life flighted to children's hospital and I was scared out of my mind- I wanted to call my Mom- she would have flown here without even being asked- but she was gone.
When I had twins and wanted to share the exciting news- I wanted to call my Mom- but she was gone.
When I found out I was finally having a little girl- I wanted to tell my Mom- but she was gone.
When I am sick and can't get out of bed- I know my Mom would have come to take care of me and help with the kids and make me chicken soup- but she is gone.
When Bryce lettered in football and we were all so proud of him- I wanted to call my Mom and tell her how great her Grandson is- but she is gone.
When I just want to cry- and I don't know why- only my Mom would understand- I want her to just give me a hug and tell me it will be OK- but she is gone.
When I want to call someone and complain about my Dad and how impossible he is sometimes- or my step Mother and how my kids are treated differently then the other grand kids and how hurt they are or I am-I have even dialed her old number- but she is gone.
When I want my Mom to know what a great life I have, wonderful kids, and a spouse that loves me more then anything- someone I know she would love too- but she never got to meet her- because she is gone.
It hurts to lose a parent- so if you are lucky enough on this day to have a Mom that you have a good relationship with- call her and tell her how much you love and appreciate her.
(This is where I wanted to post a picture of my Mom- but Jen has not hooked up the scanner despite me asking her several times a day for 4 or 5 days now- so I give up. I don't have any digital pictures of her and only a few regular pictures- but I have no computer skills to scan the ones I have in- so no picture for my post- maybe next year).
Week 35 of 4K
3 days ago